Simon Archer

The Briny Deep Simon Archer

As you can see, Orc Pirate has returned. And it's not because he forgot his shirt. No, sadly, his huge muscles make it nearly impossible for him to actually wear a shirt made of flimsy, weak cloth. In fact, once someone tried to make him a shirt and it simply screamed and fell away to dust at the sight of his rippling biceps and huge pectoral muscles, at which point, the seamstress who made it passed out from the sight of his truly exquisite body. No. The real reason he's back is because he's so powerful, he couldn't possibly stay away. In fact, he's so powerful, that reading this book can blow your mind right out of your pitiful human face. But fear not. By reading this book, you too can experience the awesome power of being an Orc Pirate. Unless, of course, you're scared.